I used to be really bad at not listening to people and being distracted until my wife blew up at me one day. I hadn’t realized how that makes other people feel. Now whenever I’m talking to someone, if I catch myself wanting to fidget or feel distracted, I can usually re-engage with the other person.

In customer relationships, the best thing you can do is truly listen. It also happens to be good business. I’ve seen money left on the table and deals go sour because salespeople just didn’t listen and really engage with the client. Had they done so, they could’ve come up with a much better offering (that just happened to be more expensive).

Personally, I find that the “monkey mind” is noisiest for me when I’m thinking on my own, and it is easier for me to be present and engaged when I’m in a dialogue with someone. While thinking about this post, I asked a psychologist if most people are like that, and she said that many people actually do have more trouble with a strong inner monologue while talking with others.

In any event, whether alone or engaged with others, being fully present is the key to quieting the chatter in our heads.

Steve

Now I think of it, I’ve always had the awareness. The further elements are of newer vintage. So the short answer to your question is “No.”

Thanks!

Another great post! I struggle with this too at times. My temperament test results once said that I had a “rich inner thought life.” Fortunately, now that I’m in my late 40’s, I’ve been able to for the most part tame the “monkey mind,” as Eastern Spiritual thinkers have described it.

Steve

Plus, very interesting to ponder the consequences of your interlocutor possibly having the same thing going on…